Merry Christmas, Gaara
by bb.outrageous
Summary: It's Christmas time for the people of the Sand, and our poor Kazekage somehow got roped into playing Santa. Why would he agree to be an old guy that stalks little kids? Well ... Let's just say that Kankuro told him that Santa was part of the Mafia.


**[ author's note ] **Yay!! I haven't written a Naruto fanfic in a very looooonnnngggg time. This one will be my first Naruto fanfic on this account, but it isn't my first Naruto fanfic. I absolutely love Gaara. He's awesome but I love Sasori more than him. No offense to any Gaara lovers out there, but Sasori rocks and he's cute. Has Gaara even had a Christmas before? Wait ... I don't think anyone of the people in the Naruto world has but what ever. I'll make them one!!! I hope you enjoy. JUST TO WARN .... THIS IS RANDOM!!! R&R

**[ disclaimer ]**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They belong to Kishimoto 'cause if I did own the Naruto series, Itachi and Hana would be together, and Sasori would totally be mine.

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Merry Christmas, Gaara

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_Rudolf the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose! And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed! All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names! They never let poor Rudolf join in the reindeer games! Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came and said .... Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight? And all of the reindeer loved him as he shouted out with glee! YIPPEE! Rudolf you'll go down in history!!_

"Screw Rudolf! I want to go home!"

Gaara grunted as he glanced around the shopping area. _How the hell do people stand all this noise?_

He scratched at his face, his fingers getting entangled in the itchy white beard that Temari had forced him to wear.

He was the Kazekage! He wasn't supposed to be sitting in the middle of the village wearing a bright red suit lined with fur with a beard glued to his face. Especially not in this weather!

Gaara's green eyes scanned the around the area that was covered in sand painted to look like snow. Temari and Kankuro stood off to the side wearing elf outfits as they handed out candy canes to the children walking past.

He shook his head in disgust. Didn't those two know that they were too big to be considered Elves?

Kankuro laughing loudly as he tossed candy canes at passing council members, a half eaten candy cane hanging limply from his mouth. Kankuro could be such an idiot. Temari was giggling as she flirted with Shikamaru, who looked ridiculous in that reindeer outfit. It looked like a stupid rat costume.

Gaara snickered as he turned his attention to Baki who was standing besides him in similar costume as Shikamaru. He was ranting on and on to himself about getting roped into something so childish.

A long line was forming at front as kids ranging from the age of two all the way up to sixteen were grinning at him. He knew perfectly well that half of those people were only there so they could get some attention from the Lord Kazekage.

"This is retarded."

Baki looked down at his Kazkage and sighed. "It's not our choice. It's required that every year, the people within the council are to partake in atleast one yearly event. And as Temari has told you, there is only a few more days left in the year, and this is the last event if the year. Just think about it this way. You'd be helping out the community."

"I don't care about helping the community." Gaara said coldly. "Who the hell came up with this idea of helping the community with these stupid things?"

Baki cleared his throat. "You did, Kazekage - sama."

Gaara frowned. "Well, then who signed me up for this?"

"Um ... you did."

His eye twitched as he clenched and unclenched his fists. Baki stared down at him. "Why exactly did you sign up for this if you don't like it?"

He sighed and glared up at his former sensei. "Kankuro told me that Santa was one of those guys from Italy that had slicked back hair, and wore those nice designer suits. Y'know ... the ones that carry guns."

"The mafia, my Lord?"

"Yeah! The mafia! He told me that Santa was one of those people. He never told me that he was some old dude who wore a bright red outfit and was a stalker."

Gaara glanced up at him as Baki started laughing to himself. "What's so funny, Baki? Does my misery amuse you?"

Baki's expression of amusement disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. "No, my Lord .... But what makes you think that Santa is a stalker?"

He rolled his eyes if as though the answer was really obvious. "It's staring you right in the face, Baki. Haven't you heard that one song? It says that he knows when you're awake or asleep, and he knows if we're bad or good. He stalks people! How else does he get his information?!"

He nodded. "I won't argue with your logic, but Kankuro lied when he said that Santa was part of the Mafia."

Gaara growled and made a mental note to get back at Kankuro the next time they had to do something next year. "Baki ..."

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Hand me something hard that I could throw."

"For what reason, my Lord?"

Gaara's left eye twitched. Why would Baki be questioning him at this very moment? Didn't he know better than to aggravate a deranged insomniac with a murderous intent?

"I'm going to throw it at Kankuro ..."

He could sworn he saw the corner of Baki's lips turn up as he handed him a large flower pot. "As you wish, my Lord."

Gaara smirked and with the skill of shinobi, threw it right at the back of Kankuro's unsuspecting head.

"Hey ... you wanna go get some th- OUCH!! What the hell?! Who threw that?! I'll kill 'em." He shouted rubbing the bump that was growing profusely on his cranium.

"I did ..."

Kankuro swiveled around, half of his candy canes falling out of the bowl. "Why, I oughta - Oh ... Gaara ... Did you want something?" He said. _That was a close call. Gaara would've murdered me, and painted the rest of the place red with my blood._

"You're a liar ...."

"What do you mean, Gaara? I didn't lie about anything."

Gaara glared at him. He looked about ready to have a hissy fit like Temari does all the time. "You told me Santa was part of the Mafia! I wouldn't have done this if you didn't tell me that!"

Kankuro gulped. "Oh ... I must've told you about the wrong Santa. My bad, Gaara .... DON'T SQUISH ME!!" He squealed and ran off screaming.

Gaara rolled his eyes as Temari grinned at him. "Okay, everybody! It's time to tell Santa what you want for Christmas!" She unclasped the hook keeping the children at bay.

Loud squealing echoed off the walls of the village as people shoved each other out of line in a sorry attempt to get to sit on Kazekage Gaara's lap.

"One at a time!" Temari yelled as a herd of five year olds ran towards the pissed off Gaara.

A small girl with red hair plopped down on his lap roughly and looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "Santa ....She started twiddling her fingers.

"What do you want?" He sighed not bothering to put on the Santa voice.

She grinned from ear to ear. "For Christmas, I want a pony!"

"May-"

"And I want a mansion filled with Barbie dolls, a hot tub made up of marshmallows, a pet orangutan, and a princess castle!!" She exclaimed waving her arms.

_What a spoiled little girl .... For my Christmas at her age, all I got were assassins on my tail ...._ He frowned at her and shook his head. "Nope ... You're not getting any of those."

She pouted. "Why not, Santa?"

"Because Santa said so, that's why."

"WAH!!" The girl jumped off his lap and ran towards her parents who were shaking their heads at the havoc their child was causing. "Santa's a meanie!"

Gaara's eye twitched. "Yeah!! You better go running to Mommy and Daddy!! You're on my naughty list! That's right!! I know what you did last summer!!" He cackled as he tilted his head back for the dramatic effect.

Several people who were standing in line stepped away from the site before running away.

Temari shook her head. "You're supposed to make people smile and laugh, not make them run away screaming."

Gaara smirked as more children approached wanting their turns.

"I want a race car!"

"No."

"I want the holiday set for My Little Pony!"

"Go ask your parents that 'cause there's no way I'm going to buy that."

"I want to marry Brad Pitt!"

"In your dreams maybe."

"I want a cookie!"

"No!! My cookie!!"

"I want to rule the worled ...."

"Um ... yeah sure .... Pst! Temari ... Call the guys with the big needle!"

After two hours of making kids cry and hearing fan girls scream at him for not flirting back, the line had diminished to a measely few people.

"Can we end this now, Temari?" Gaara sighed. "There's only a few people left and I'm hungry."

Temari grinned at her younger brother and walked over. "Atleast take one more person before we go. Make it an even number." She suggested. "There's only like five people left so one won't hurt."

He grumbled something no one could understand and nodded. "Only one more."

"Oh yeah!! Beat that Sasuke!! I get to see Santa and you don't!"

Gaara's eyes widened dramatically as the number one knuckle headed ninja, Naruto Uzumaki, took off running at him full speed. "SANTA!!"

_Oh crap ..._

Naruto landed with an 'umph' on his lap and waved his arms franticallt. "Santa!! What I want is simple."

He was beginning to lose feeling in his legs. Naruto sure was heavy. All that ramen got to his weight ..... "How simple?"

"Really simple!!"

"Hn ... Fine. What do you want?"

Naruto grinned and punched the air. "I want to be ... The sixth Hokage!!"

Gaara shook his head. All that boy talked about was being Hokage. That wasn't simple. Simple would be asking for a book or a leaf. "No ... I can't make you hokage."

Squinty blue eyes narrowed at him. "I wanna be Hokage!!"

He really wanted to squish him .... "No. That's something I can't make happen."

"But you're Santa!! You're awesome and you can slide down chimneys."

"No ..." Gaara sneered. "I'm an over weight man that needs to lay off of the cookies. I'm a stalker that watches you while you sleep devising whether or not you've been good or not. I'm not laughing when I say 'ho ho ho'. I'm naming the future prositutes of the world!! I have better things to do than make you Hokage!!"

Naruto whimpered before flipping him off and ran over to Sakura crying about how creepy Santa was this year.

Gaara smirked and pushed himself off the wooden chair, tossing the beard at the sleeping Baki. Kankuro, who had been hiding in Reindeer Land finally appeared with Temari.

"Hey, lil bro." Kankuro laughed and lead the way back towards the Kazekage mansion. "That sure was interesting."

Temari laughed. "I bet you had fun scaring the crap out of the kids."

He shrugged. "Maybe .... But next time ... Let's do something that doesn't involve people sitting on me and screaming in my ear." His siblings laughed and held out a bag to him.

He stared at it confused before taking it. "Open it." They insisted. Gaara nodded and reached inside only to find his teddy bear from his childhood in perfect condition. He stared at his childhood friend and thet could have sworn that a smile was coming to Gaara's lips.

"Thank you ..."

"What was that?" Temari asked straining to hear him.

"I said .... Thank you." He said quietly.

Temari and Kankuro grinned and took each of his arms. "You're welcome .... Merry Christmas, Gaara ...."

Yeah ... It was a merry Christmas alright.

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**[ author's note ]** I hope you enjoyed it .... It was kind of a random idea but it was something I wanted to write. Please review!


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